If there were an "absurdist heist" Oscar, then Takers would take. It is a pit of clichés: the weak link, meddling family members, troubled cops, and a love triangle. Top it all off with a camera as jerky as the San Fran earthquake, and you have one failed caper.
Five very dapper gents, with appropriately mixed races, plan a very big heist involving armored cars and underground mechanics. The trouble is, these notoriously meticulous thieves are pressed to pull off the job in five days. Not good for careful planners.
Of the things that go wrong, the only one I buy is the late arrival of a target because I've been in Los Angeles traffic, and not even a moving bank could make that congestion go away. Regardless, Detective Jack Welles (Matt Dillon) will sacrifice even his relationship with his daughter to track down these miscreants.
Knowing the thespian-challenged Hayden Christensen is a star of Takers, and you dislike nervous MTV camera work, then you have an idea what a crime the film really is. However Dillon is a treat to watch—-he has this world-weary cop down pat.
Takers is not Stanley Kubrick's The Killing (1956), where another five men plot a heist. The only taking here is your ticket money.
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